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Post by Cougs on Sept 26, 2007 22:25:51 GMT -5
Wouldn't we all like to do this sometime?
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Post by Cougs on Oct 17, 2007 13:47:31 GMT -5
IRS Calling!
When the minister picked up the phone, Special Agent Struzik from the IRS was on the line.
"Hello, is this the minister?"
"Yes, this is."
"I'm calling to inquire about a member of your congregation, a Dr. Shipe. Do you recognize the name?"
"Yes, he is a member of our congregation. How can I be of service?"
"Well, on last year's tax return, the doctor claimed that he made a sizable tax-deductable contribution to your church. Is this true?"
"Well, I'll have to have our bookkeeper verify this information for you. How much did Dr. Shipe say he contributed?"
"Twenty five thousand dollars," answered Agent Struzik. "Can you tell me if that amount is true?"
There is a long pause. "I'll tell you what," replied the minister.......
"Call back tomorrow. I'm sure it will be."
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Post by Cougs on Nov 27, 2007 8:38:40 GMT -5
A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before
Thanksgiving and says,"I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell
you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."
"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.
"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her."
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like
heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this"
She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, Don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "they're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."
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Post by Cougs on Nov 28, 2007 8:56:45 GMT -5
A trio of old veterans were bragging about the heroic exploits of their ancestors
one afternoon down at the VFW hall.
"My great grandfather, at age 13," one declared proudly, "was a drummer boy at Shiloh."
"Mine," boasts another, "went down with Custer at the Battle of Little Big Horn."
"I'm the only soldier in my family," confessed vet number three, "but if my great
grandfather was living today he'd be the most famous man in the world."
"Really? What'd he do?" his friends wanted to know.
"Nothing much. But he would be 165 years old."
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Post by basketballjunkie on Nov 28, 2007 15:11:10 GMT -5
There was a cruise ship that went down in the middle of the ocean. Three men found their way to a deserted island.
Two of the men were just frantic with fear they were never going to be found and die right there.
The other man went on his way building himself a hut, setting up a hammock, gathering food and singing all the time.
The other two asked him, are you not scared that we will never be found. We have no way to get off the island, no way to start a signal fire, we have nothing they said.
The third man explained, you see, I am a Christian, and I also am very wealthy, earning a good living. I make about $100,000.00 a week, I tithe and give offerings on my income, my PASTOR will find me.
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