Sports Humor!

[Cougs]

A Denver Broncos' fan was enjoying himself at the
game in a packed Mile High Stadium, until he noticed
an empty seat down in front. He went down and asked
the guy next to it if he knew whose seat it was.
The guy said, "Yes, that's my wife's seat. We have never
missed a game since the Craig Morton days, but now my
wife is dead."

The fan offered his sympathy and said it was really too
bad that he couldn't find some relative to give the ticket
to and enjoy the game together.

"Oh no." the guy said. "They're all at the funeral."

[Cougs]

Two friends, Kirk and Bernie, were two huge baseball fans. Their entire lives, Kirk and Bernie talked baseball. They went to 60 games a year. They even agreed that who ever died first would try to come back and tell the other if there was baseball in heaven.

One night, Kirk passed away in his sleep after watching the Yankee victory earlier in the evening. He died happy. A few nights later, his buddy, Bernie, awoke to the sound of Kirk's voice from beyond. "Kirk is that you?" Bernie asked.

"Yes, it's me," Kirk replied.

"This is unbelievable" Bernie exclaimed. "So tell me, is there baseball in heaven?"

"Well I have some good news and some bad news for you. Which do you want to hear first?" asked Kirk.

"Tell me the good news first," replied Bernie.

"Well, the good news is that yes there is baseball in heaven," said Kirk.

"Oh, that is wonderful, So what is the bad news?" asked Bernie.

Kirk answered, "You're pitching tomorrow night."

[Cougs]

At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?"
The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

"Do you understand that what matters is whether we win together as a team?"

The little boy nodded yes.

"So," the coach continued, "when a strike is called, or you're out at first, you don't argue or curse or attack the umpire. Do you understand all that?"

Again the little boy nodded.

"Good," said the coach, "now go over there and explain it to your mother."

[Cougs]

A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the
catcher walked up to have a talk with him.
"I've figured out your problem, " he told the
young southpaw. "You always lose control at
the same point in every game."

"When is that?"

"Right after the National Anthem."

[Cougs]

Two hunters were dragging their dead deer
back to their car. Another hunter approached
pulling his along too.

"Hey, I don't want to tell you how to do something
... but I can tell you that it's much easier if you drag
the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won't
dig into the ground."

After the third hunter left, the two decided to try it.

A little while later one hunter said to the other,
"You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!"

"Yeah, but we're getting farther from the truck," the other added.

[Cougs]

A football coach was asked how he picked a team
from a bunch of raw recruits.

"I hate to give away my secrets," he replied, "but
I'll tell you. I take them out into the woods. Then, at
a given signal, I start them running. Those that run
around the trees are chosen as guards. Those that
run into the trees are chosen as tackles."

[Cougs]

Two bowling teams, one made up of all blondes and one of all brunettes, charter a double decker bus for a weekend tournament in Atlantic City.



The brunette team rode in the bottom deck of the bus and the blonde team rode on the top level. The brunette team down below was whooping it up and having a great time when one of them realized she didn't hear anything from the blondes upstairs. She decided to go up and investigate.



When the brunette reached the top, she found all the blondes frozen in fear, staring straight ahead at the road and clutching the seats in front of them.


The brunette asked, "What is going on up here? We're having a great time downstairs!"

One of the blondes said, "Yeah, but you've got a driver!"